Thanksgiving was pretty good.  Food was great, if I do say so myself.  The turkey was nice and moist.  Though it didn’t have any of the flavors of the oranges, lemons, basil and rosemary that I had placed inside the cavity.  Don’t know why that never works, but I keep doing it and hoping! 😀

While my sister and her hubby were driving home, they decided that I couldn’t take care of dad by myself anymore, and decided that we needed to move dad down to CA and into a facility, with me moving in with them.  Nice offer, bad decision.  For one, the “finding” of the facility would rest squarely on my sister’s shoulders, and with her working 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, she really doesn’t have the time to do that.  Secondly, me living with her, BIG MISTAKE.  I’m not a pushover like her, and I also do not squelch my opinions from coming out of my mouth.  She and I would end up as enemies, and I don’t want that to happen.

So, the other night, I called her at work, and told her that since the VA has different services, one of them being them sending someone in to help me, free of charge, I think it would be better to do that.  Especially since dad wasn’t keen on the idea of moving to CA, since we’d have to get an ambulance to transport him, and good grief that would cost a hell of a lot of money.  Plus, he has the idea in his head that if he is moved to a facility, he won’t ever seem me again.  He’s come to depend on me completely, and he’s quite comfy here in his home, with his things around him and with his routines.  I told my sister that as soon as she’d suggested this move, I started getting a heavy feeling in my chest.  Why?  Because of all the work I’d have to do, up here, by myself.  Selling the home, getting rid of every stick of furniture, signing papers, getting dads power of attorney.  Then shipping him down to CA by himself.  As soon as I told sister that this was just too much work for the both of us, and dad wasn’t keen on the idea either and suggested we wait for the paper work from the Navy to get here, that we shouldn’t be uprooting dads life.   She agreed.

Personally, I think she was just feeling extremely guilty for not coming up more often and actually helping me.  She was the same way with mom, and the guilt floored her when mom died.  She vowed then she wouldn’t make that mistake with dad, but here it is, 10 years later, and she only comes up once a year, for 2 days.  Her guilt is her problem, not mine.  If she wanted to help me, truly help me, she’d do it.

That’s one reason why I don’t want to live with her.  My anger at her would come out, and trust me, that would destroy our relationship.  Don’t get me wrong.  I understand that she works full time.  I understand she wants to spend time with her grandkids.  But you know what?  I DO NOT understand why she doesn’t want to spend time with me, and help me out.  Actually, I do.  It’s too much work for her.  Too hard.  She’s never been one to stand up and face adversity, and having handicapped parents who need a lot of attention is one of the biggest adverse situations in life, there is.

Oh well.  Every one has somethin’ in their life, right?  😉